1 Year Post-Hysterectomy: The Wiggle Room

Well, it's been 6 months since my last update and upon revisiting what I wrote, I think things are going a bit better now! (6 month post in case you missed it)

Photos from our gig trip up to Traverse City, MI on 10/10 - 10/11.

Overall, I think I started to feel more like myself again around month 9 or 10, which is MONTHS after my surgeon and nurses set my expectations to be. Only upon talking to other people who have been in similar situations and had similar surgeries to myself did I learn that it can take a solid year for the body to recover. And wow, has that rung true.

As of today, it's been 1 year since my second surgery of 2025, the secondary endometriosis excision and partial hysterectomy (I still have my left ovary and cervix.) It's been an up and down battle with symptoms but I think it's evened out quite a bit. The easiest way for me to give you all the good and the bad is to list them, so here we go:

The Bad:

• Still bloating after I eat anything at all

• Worse sensitivity to gluten

• Still incredibly fatigued most days

• Random days of terribly debilitating brain fog

• Body has remained same size/gotten slightly wider (went from size 2 pants to now size 6/8 in less than two years - I don't care as much as my wallet does)

• Still dealing with chronic pelvic tightness and sometimes pain

• Still having sore abdominal muscles after working out or doing activities

• Still having to use the restroom about every 90 mins or so most days

• More shoulder pain - not sure if connected or not

The Good:

• Less abdominal pain and flareups overall

• Less sensitivity to cheese

• Obviously no periods, thank goodness

• More accepting of body neutrality

• Still no adverse reactions to the norethindrone pills (it's been 18 months)

• No obvious peri- or menopausal symptoms

• Memory seems to work better for short term purposes

• Bloat after eating seems to disapate faster, even though it's still extreme sometimes

• Better at body regulation naturally (I used to be cold ALL THE TIME)

I've said it before and I'll say it again - typing this stuff out in list form actually really helps me weigh what feels too heavy to process otherwise. I've come a really long way in a year but I think it'll take another 6 months to a year to feel FULLY normal again. I still pull abdominal muscles in the most mundane ways and I can feel that it's near the incisions from the surgeries. It's frustrating but I have to believe it'll get better. I did experience incision longer than the typical patient so I have to give myself some grace there.

It's only because of people like myself who share their stories that I can even type any of this right now. If I hadn't learned that other people had this long recovery experience, I'd be fully panicking and fully depressed right now. Even my surgeon, who is AMAZING at his job, didn't prepare me for this long of a recovery period. I've done everything right and it's still this grueling.

One of the hardest things for me to deal with has been not getting my body "back". It's a similar situation when a person has a child and expects to get their body "back". And yes, some people do! But I've had to do a lot of mental gymnastics to come to the conclusion and acceptance that I'm probably not one of them. I have dealt with weigh fluctuations my whole life once I hit puberty so I'm relatively used to that. But I hit an all-time "skinny" in 2022 and stayed that way up until the anti-depressants changed my body chemistry. And to get to experience that sense of euphoria even for a few years was incredible. My metabolism was a BEAST. I wasn't bloating much at all AND my boobs deflated down to nearly 32C in size. (I have a lot of body dysmorphia surrounding my boobs but it's a LOT to unpack.) Just know that my boobs hadn't been that small in decades and I was LOVING IT.

So I was truly hoping that after the surgery, once my hormones all evened out, I might lose some of the hormonal weight (including boob weight). I haven't been so lucky. While my bloat has gotten better, I think the 1.5 years spent with a frozen pelvis physically changed my hip's width. So even though I'm technically getting smaller and healthier from front to back, my width is keeping me in the same pants predicament. And my boobs are, for the first time ever, 32F (32DDD). I'm in a constant state of doing my best to accept the changes and learning how to dress myself in a way that makes me happy. And when I tell you that is the hardest part of my day mentally, I ain't lying. But I'm ok.

I wish I had more uplifting thoughts to share with you on this day but you know me - I'm a realist and I'm going to give it to you straight, whether it's easy to read or not. Sure, there are some "bad" symptoms still but there are also some really good ones. And that's about all I can ask for about now.

Thank goodness I finally had these surgeries because it's allowed me to get back to work in a way I wasn't sure was possible. I can push my body as much as I used to YEARS ago and it doesn't give out. I don't even feel like death the next day! Yes, I'm tired and fatigued after a gig but there's a difference between knowing you've done too much and made a huge mistake versus knowing you are sore but still have some wiggle room.

Today, I am grateful for the wiggle room.

<3 E